Emotional Abuse

It sucks.
No one deserves to feel this way..
Manipulated and blamed for everything.
It’s the put downs & name calling.
The abuser is the power tripper, the ego blaster and the negative wordsmith…
Leverage is a handy tool and the private weaknesses you’ve revealed thrown right in your face.
The throwing of words and phrases that don’t even apply..
The feeling of powerlessness..
The hope fading..
The trap forming..
Inequality…
Madness…
Yelling…
The shining light of apologies strewn amongst torturous periods guilt and shame.

Ideal Friendship.

I don’t think anyone who genuinely loves a person, would ditch them in their down time.
As messed up as it is, most people will not be there in your time of need.
You always hear the story of the 1 friend who was there during your hospitalisation, or when your dad died, or when you had no one else..
That’s amazing, that’s selflessness.

This is the kind of real and true friendship that I aspire to have…
Not always needing this type of support, but to know that I have that if ever needed….is a comforting feeling to have in a friend.
The ones that are the best have your back no matter what.
No excuses!
πŸ˜ƒ

Under the Weather

Please send your positive energy!
I haven’t been very healthy lately…
I’ve been in indulging in a lot that I had sworn off like..

Cigarettes
Ice Cream
Fried Chicken
Soda

….also….broke out into hives and developed a chest cold! I’m sure It was bad sushi and/or the fact that my new roommate owns 4 cats…😩 but then again when it comes to allergies, who knows!?

Low immunity or whaaaaa!???

😬

Gonna do a vegetable + vitamin + green tea detox !!

Also!

I have a gig tomorrow, don’t wanna be & can’t be sick!

Love y’all!

πŸ’‹

House of Cards Video Shoot

Shot a pro video for one of my cover bands last Sunday but forgot to post it so…..here is the update!
This video is for our electronic press kit
We will post this video online for future clients to view and also to send out to agencies that can give us more gigs
Good times!
All of the cameras make you feel like a star ⭐️Here I am at every angle lol πŸŒœπŸŒ›

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Overwhelmed

People get addicted to me
I hate it

It’s like they want to suck out all of my positive energy

Sometimes I just have to break and consciously place myself far far away in vicinity mentally and physically

Like….get bitchy as hell and be like “I need my personal space, please stop”

People don’t get it any other way
They don’t accept or realise any hints I make
” I’ll just be over here” or ” I’m going outside” or ” I need a second” or physically turning away from the conversations never seems to ring a bell

What is up with this!??
An I constantly attracting people with Aspergers???

I’m so over this
I notice people’s body language, I notice their tone, I am very aware of the vibe

I let people come to me, I do not harass or impose upon them
Why can I not get this back in return!?
Help!!!!!

😁😁😁

You Must Believe

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..that the love you desire to access is within you
That there is in fact, no reason to desire, only the ability to feel and transcend
Your suffering will end once desire ends and desire will end once the source is accessed..

To be honest, spirituality can sometimes feel like chasing your own tail..

But isn’t life like that?

A constant fluctuation or hot/cold, dark/light, here/there

Ponder that..

etc.

πŸ’‹