You once were the ultimate answer
Now all my questions hang and linger
In the closet of our past
Skeleton dance…

Now it feels like you’re so far from me
Even though you call me baby
Now it feels like you’re so far
Even though you call me..

Urgent care
My heart is breaking I need air (I I need)…
Years here and tears there
Sordid affair…

Talkin That Talk


Currently listening to a binaural meditation that I have downloaded from Kelly Howell…she’s amazing! Look her up!

Also, just downloaded the WordPress app ( older version) and I am loving it so far! The interface is clean and simple to use! My kind of app :)

Anyways! I’m sure that the very few bloggers who have been following me for 3+ years have noticed the recent spike in my blogging.

Why is that?

Why not blog instead of talking people’s ears or fingers off?

I’m three hours off from my friends in Cal which trust me DOES make a huge difference and my brain tends to run 10000x faster than mosts people I meet anyway so….

Why not sound off to the blogosphere!

Here I can instantaneously post my thoughts and ideas into the endless wavelength of the World Wide Web?

The Best part of this blog is that I have nothing to hide & no shame…hence the name


This is me stripped down, pure and unaffected.

And you know what? It’s not like I will EVER work for the government or corporate America unless its a dream fantasy endorsement deal revolving around my music….

That being said, my goal is to get up to 500 posts by the end of August.

Purging my thoughts and ideas for people who actually WANT to read them or do not have to is a lot healthier than blowing up my friends.

Thank you WordPress!

- #MMxx 💕💋

Up Up….Still Up!


Still not used to the time zone switch!

I’m up right now as if it were 11pm back in Cal..

It rained today!

Annoying because I wanted to walk around and find the neighbourhood park but…..

The rain brought the temp down so ultimately, I feel thankful! I usually wake up gasping for water because the heat dries out my throat to an immeasurable level. No breeze to be found here in Atlanta! Not on 6.9/7 days!


 Saw my cousin today for literally 3 minutes….an infinitesimal hint of familiarity

 I spent today writing music which was an amazing feeling!

I get lost, that’s how I know it is my destiny.

4 hours later I had organized my music for my next session, practiced singing in spanish which is surprisingly awkward (I plan to cover at least 2 Selena tracks)… written 3 1/2 songs and vocalized!

Now I’m winding down in bed listening to the New York Times Music Popcast……….I love listening to the hosts analyze the crap out of various genres. They pick apart everything from the artists lyrical content to their aura… it’s pretty wild. Their voices also tend to sound very monotone  so on that thought…..


The Live of a Starving Artist

Music is Everything to me.

I’d rather starve than not be able to afford my favorite creative outlet; Singing/Songwriting. A lot of people do not realize the effort & expense it takes to run your own company as a successful independent musician… It is a long road filled with heartbreak, cup o noodles, canceled plans, perverted producers/engineers/photographers/Any one with a penis, unfair studio owners and I’m not even far down the road yet, not even close!

That being said, my diet is my sacrifice and not necessarily the state of my health…

I have recently taken to a strictly produce/ fruit based diet

*No bread, meat or anything preserved/processed etc.

I like this way though…

It keeps me as healthy as possible in conjunction with cutting down my cost of living.

Also, figuring out what to eat when you live in a food desert is not entirely easy, the drive at least 20 minutes to the supermarket and I do not utilize most grocery stores because of their low quality produce..So the stores I use tend to be far away and $$$$…’s funny because 2 quarters ago I was writing about them and how unfortunate they were in English class (I’m a Nor Cal Girl)…now, I live in one.

Atlanta!! Get it together please??


I prefer to eat the fruit raw or add greens & ice for a smoothie

Each item I purchased a couple of days ago was no more than 1.50 each….

Picked up:

Carrot Juice
Bell Peppers

and that is all I can remember now!

I will be gnawing on these foods until my next paycheck from an old promo job is DD

Until then…

Give yourself over to what you Love, fully surrender until you bleed.

Alone But I’m Not Lonely

This quick and pleasing Chakra cleansing Meditation was passed on to me by a friend who is a magnificent healer.

***I whip this video out in moments where I am not feeling grounded and/or in need of releasing negative energy.

Got Back Into Meditation.

I’m a city girl at heart.

I am used to everything moving quickly and being very fast-paced.

I took yoga about once a week in Nor Cal and it helped me to slow down a bit…but the truth is, it wasn’t enought, I need a lot more time with myself…


I’ve also started writing in my journal about every other day and that has helped me to write out my many meaningless thoughts so that I do not say them to other people when I get nervous or something….it’s always better to say nothing at all! Who would’ve thought?

In other news..

My meditation book passage for today 7/13 stated: “Help me live this day with all of my awareness”

What a great phrase to meditate on! How crazy because this is exactly what I’ve been focusing on doing…

It takes time to unblock and heal…..

Bad energy brings everything down…

Strips the light..

It’s hard to slow down sometimes because you just want to keep up and appear normal… do what everyone else is doing, assimilate and fit in….but that is never necessary, it is never necessary to be anything other than you are even if that seems wrong to others….

Today I’m focusing on awareness and being myself.


My Lucky Friends…

ALL of my friends have familial support or at least one rational, mentally stable parent/mentor to guide them, nourish them and protect them in their time of need.

I have never had that, nothing close.

My parents are constantly fighting me and constantly trying to shame me for not living the live they wish I did and they both have different ideas on what I should be doing.

It burdens me to this day.

I just keep changing locations for music. Trying to pursue the one thing that keeps me going.

When I’m not making music…it is very hard for me.

Both of my parents could care less to solve anything.

The last time I spoke with my father he kept calling me stupid and insulting me.

I replied, “you do not treat your wife like this, I am your flesh and blood. It is not right to talk to me this way”

He replied, “:]”

LOL. Father of the year, right? That’s just one out of a million examples.

I’m also in a constant state of stress but I don’t show it to the world.

I just smile and laugh and joke…at night I cry myself to sleep and I shake with the immense pain of loneliness and abandonment…

Dear God.

End this.